the walk

So I have the time, 9a-3p each day. I have the space, my cozy studio. So now what?

My head is so fuzzy. Seriously I have no idea what to do or where to begin. I sit there with my pencil and paper and think ok start with drawing. What do I draw? What does my art look like? I have no idea at this point. I feel like I’m in a fog.

This is where the walk comes in. Some walk for exercise or fresh air, I walk for clarity. And to increase serotonin levels! I remember walking extensively while I was in art school, just trying to clear the fog, to get some perspective, “figure it all out”.

So I’ve been walking every morning rain or shine now for a couple of weeks. Drop my daughter off at school then head to the seawall. I love the water and the openness. Somedays I just fume and wallow in whatever the problem du jour is. Other days I just empty my brain and listen to my ipod. And then there are moments of clarity and something clicks. And there it is, the vision, voila!

I know what my artwork looks like, now I just need to execute it.... that’s a whole other issue!

space

Having your own space/room to call your own is really essential. No kids, pets or hubby allowed!! you need to be able to make a mess, take out all of your supplies and not worry about having to clean up afterwards. No worries that you’ll get remnants of dinner on your creations. And a private space away from judging eyes, where you can create without an audience.

So I have studio. A dedicated room in the house that’s mine and only mine. It’s completely separate from our living space. I can be as messy as I want and leave things set up. Problem is, it becomes a dumping ground and a crafting area for my daughter over the summer months. She is prolific and I need to tackle the stacks of her creations. Project number one is to clear the clutter and reclaim the space!

I love going in there, it’s like another realm all together, so quiet and “distant” from my everyday life. I always feeling a sense of calming when I enter...but I have difficulty getting myself in there! I procrastinate like crazy!! Hmmm..... what if my coffee maker was in there, then I’d HAVE to go in at least once a day!!! Now that’s creative thinking!

where do I begin?

I am an artist who doesn't make art!

For the past 5 years, since my daughter was born, I've tried to go easy on myself and give myself a break. I chose to concentrate all of my attention on her. I told myself, “once she's in preschool, I'll have more time”, which turned into “once she's in Junior kindergarten” which leads us to now. Now she is in full-day kindergarten. While she is thriving, I on the other hand, am a bit lost.

Where do I begin, how do I begin to regain a sense of creativity?

How do you become creative after you've pro-created?!

I counted down the days until September and the first day of school, so excited, I couldn't wait to get “my time” back again. Before marriage and baby I was always fiercely independent and very selfish of “my time”. For the past five years, I gladly traded all of that to give my daughter as much of myself as I could and I loved it. I'm proud of myself for actually being able to pull it off. But now, how do I flip the switch?

September and October have come and gone and here I sit, no creative endeavors to show for it. No paintings or drawings in the works. Worse, no ideas. The well feels dry. The “my time” I was hungry for seems to get frittered away by chores, grocery shopping, chauffeuring, house keeping and general “busy work”. I guess I've been embracing distraction because I have no idea where to begin. I feel this fog in my brain and I need to find a way to clear it and get the creative juices flowing again.

Where do I begin? Well I guess with this blog!

redesign in progress

stay tuned!